About a girl's life w/ no love *part 5*

Friday,  7th july 2011.. *sunny*


Well, i'd just checked this blog and whoa i'd never EVER thought that there would be somebody, ehem.. i mean.. 300 pageviewers! O.o 


Anyway, i'm so happy that you all would read this story.. Thank you soo much! ^^


Whoops~ Did i just smile? 
Hehe, i am kind, right?


Anywaay~ 


Today.. 
Hmm.. 
"Gosh how could life be so that hard?"


Sometimes, that line just popped into your mind, isn't it?


Well, it is popping in my mind everytime-_-"


This lately, i've been watching 'Hana kimi'..
Well, it's a Japanese drama.. Don't you know?

Hmm, it's a story where there's a girl that comes into a boys school 'Osaka gakuen'..
That girl's name, Mizuki. She went there because of someone's named Sano.
Sano was a high-jumper but he's stopped cause of an accident.
Mizuki thinks this is all her fault then she want to make it up for him by supporting him and told him to do that sport again.. For once again, she want to make him smile~


And there's an episode where mizuki try to convince that there's nothing to stop someone by doing something that they love, even if you get an injuries..


In that episode, mizuki join a marathon and in the same time her foot was bleeding.. But in the end she almost finishing the marathon even though she had injured..


And that reminds me, we can't ran off! We can't ran away! We can't hide! And there's nothing would stop us!


If we fall away down and we think we can't get up.. Just simply ask this to yourself.. 
'How can i ended be like this?'
Trust me! 


You know?
If you'd read the previous post, you'll know that i had dream to become a great musician..
My dad has already prepared a studio for me and my mom wants to sent me to this music school that i can learn every weekend..


But..
I throw it all.. 
I've get into this school, a boarding school, a REALLY tough boarding school-,-


For what?
Chasing my other dreams~


There's someone said, 'You have to throw a dream to chase the other dreams'..


I Know i was stupid!
I regret this after.. 


But then again, i am stupid!
I never do anything right! 


Just let yourself flow by the wind.. 
And when you're ready to fly by your own wings, choosing your own path, then go! 
Don't EVER let someone wins for something that you've chasing! 


~~~~~~~~~  

What theee..

Mad maaan~ Mad maan~ 
U will come back to me baby oh~ 
I'm so cra-cra-crazy (clap clap clap clap mad man~)


Whoops.. Didn't realize you all known._.v
Wkwk, what? Hmm yeah it IS weird.. 
From the title "What theee.." 'till the words that you've just read..


OK, here's the thing..
I wrote that weird title cause i don't know other thing to write-,- 
Then about the words in Italic mode, it's actually a lyrics..
Which of course it's understand how i felt.. 


Oh and i just want to tell that i'm working on a project here so need y'all prayer._.
It's a fight! 
O.o


And umh if y'all still curios about what song it is, i'll post it later~ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About a girl's life w/ no love *part 4*

Saturday, 19th march 2011.. *sunny*

Hmm..
Nothing seemed interesting today because well, nothing that make me interested..
I'm bored and there's nothing that i can do about it..
Well..
It's just i missed this blog._.
LOL!

About a girl's life w/ no love *part 3*

Tuesday, 1st March 2011.. *cloudy*


It's the first day of march..
Hmm..
I hope there'll be something good..
And i never EVER hopes for love..

But,
I wish there's something that fascinate me and help me to reach my dream as musician..

And today..
I learn about option..
And how to choose an option..

There's something you should know, it's called decision..
We make decision from every minutes that we passed..

For example, when we are about to eat in a restaurant, you'll choose what you wanna eat..
That's a decision..

Sometimes you'll get confused and lost in an option..
When you're wrong, you'll think you' wont be happy..

But you're wrong..

If you had a wrong decision, don't complaining..
You can fix it OR you can continued your decision w/ a big smile..

Most of people said that learning the mistakes from the past will make your life better than now..
But noo noo..
I wont think it that way..

If you learn your mistake, don't you think you would get wrong and fall into a same trap?
But you can't hide or running from your mistakes either, that'll make everything goes wrong..

In the past, i'll always hide from my mistakes..
I AM running..
But i don't know where to go..

Every time i goes wrong, i'll avoid it..
I was thinking that that wrong thing would go if i avoid it..
But noo noo..
It makes everything goes worse than before..

I was thinking that suicide is an option and it's the best way for me..

When i about to suicide, i looked at my *new* guitar..
I think, for what my parents bought me a nice and cool guitar and it's for professional IF the daughter who would be playing it's gone?

I still have a dream and i don't wanna let it flow away..

That's my decision..
And i started to get up..
I started to follow my OWN lead..
My OWN path..
And NOBODY will change it..

So, what's your decision today?

If you confused, just think what will you do if you reach this and what'll you do if you reach that?

You just can't take the easier step..
Like, taking people's life..
Copying people's path..
Or else..

If you like something and you want to reach it, just goes for it!
Don't care if the world called you crazy or stupid..
Because that's your path..
That's your lead..
That's what you can..
That's what you love..

Doesn't matter if you fall..
Because everything's happen for a reason..
And there'll be the way out out there..

Start  saying "I CAN" besides "I WILL"..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

Proof *love*

I wanna to tell you something..

Maybe you'll tell me i'm a weirdo because i don't have love or smile..

But tell you what..

I'm gonna proof it that love CAN destroyed our life..

Here is some song that i knew and it was about love..

"It’s all lies. All lies

Your love for me was all lies

You've hurt me so

You left me crying"

..FT Island-After love..

Don’t ever love

Heartbreak will surely come

It hurts to even breathe

I thought that this would only hurt

as much as I love

But I was wrong

It hurts a thousand times more

..FT Island-Don't love..

U make me cry (You)

The reason I live on

Please don’t leave me

Just tell me why (why)

Oh wipe my tears tell me I’m so crazy (yeah)

Scream out call out (call out) Loudly yell out call out (call out)

This is not the end It hurts so much ah ee yah

Surge call out (call out) Please don’t throw me away baby

..MBLAQ-Cry..

I really wanted to forget you

No matter how hard I tried,

No matter how hard I tried you were still inside of me

..Rain-How to avoid the sun..

I can't get myself to say that I still can't sleep at night because of her

With a forced smile I encouraged him and sent him away OH GIRL

..Beast-Take care of my girlfriend (say no)..

Don’t go. Don’t leave me. No matter how many times I think about it,

It will be hard to forget you. I don’t think I can forget you

..Beast-Breathe..

I became used to only looking at you

Lingering around you, I feel like a beggar

I want to let go of everything now, and thats suffocating

And I don't know what to do

..Infinite-Before the dawn..

The coldhearted man is crying

At our parting, even she’s crying

The time within tears cut apart

From the faded memory-window fragments

I’ll tie them together once again

To tie, to tie

..The Trax-Let you go (cold-hearted man)..

Because it was the love you choose..

Even the pain was happiness..

If you look back at least once..

Im happy just for that..

Until the day you meet..

The person to protect you instead of me..

For a while I will stay next to you..

Because it is a happy love just looking at you..

..Jung yong hwa-I'm a fool..

Baby, don’t take his hand when he comes to you

Coz you should be my lady

I’ve been waiting for you for so long

Look at me now

..Taeyang-Wedding dress..

And there's many more songs about how hurting love is..

HA~ DON'T TRUST LOVE..

Told ya~

~~~~~~~~~~~~

About my name, me..

Hyemi..
Hmm..
Hyemi is not my real name..

If you watching "dream high" (korean drama), you'll know hyemi..

Hyemi is a girl who's so aggressive and so annoying but still, there's two guys who love her just the way she are..
I want to be like her..
She's  tough and cute..

I wanna be like her..
Tough, arrogant, doesn't care about world at all..

If you asking what i wanna be,
I wanna be a musician, or at least somebody who important in music..

I learn guitar and piano..
Guitar electric and acoustic..
Piano and keyboard..

I wanna learn violin tough..
But still, my interest and the thing that i love is playing guitar..
Especially electrical one..

I have two guitar electric..

There's Cort X-6 and Ibanez (I don't know the serial)
And i have an acoustic guitar..
Yamaha..

I wanna be something in music..

Besides that, i'm good at rap and dance..
But still, can't sing-_-"

My friends said that my sounds isn't bad..
But what i think that my voice is more worst than a duck=_=

Still i wanna be a musician and have a great time w/ world

~~~~~~~~~

About a girl's life w/ no love *part 2*

Monday, 28th February 2011.. *rainy*

Today i'm started to go to school again..
Even tough, the "school" is one of the place that make me down all the time,
but it's fine for me, since it's the new "me"..

It's cold in here tough..
Even now i'm using a jacket, but it is cold..

I thought that "they" wont bother me because i like this now..
They? Yes! They!

They, everybody in class who used to make me laugh..
They, everyone who used to cheer me up..
They, the one who make me can't forget my past...

I know i sounds like a pity little girl who needs to cheer up..
But noo noo...
I don't need to cheer..

I just want to share all that i have to you..

Still tough, i have a smile, but fake one..
Why would i smile now?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

About a girl's life w/ no love *part 1*

Hi~
I'm hyemi..
Not a Korean, and it's not important to tell you about from where i am..

I'm sorry, it's not that i'm trying to mad at you..
It's just, this is me..
A 14 years old girl but can't smile like used to..

Why?

It's because of past, it's because of memories..
That's why i hate memories..
There's nothing good that came up from memories..

And oh there's one thing..
I hate love..
Maybe i don't hate it, but i didn't believe at love..
For me, love is big b***s*** ..

Don't you know, i was trying to kill myself..
By burned myself in a fire from a huge campfire..
Or by stabbing my veins w/ fork (it's ridiculous-,-)
Or by many other things that i can't count..

Why would i suicide?

It's because memories!
I can't take the memories~
So i'm taking suicide by an option for me..

But after my parents bought me another guitar *i'm a guitarist*, i realized that i still have a dream to reach..
I want to be a musician..
I want  to be something..

Still i was thinking suicide is the best for me, to make me forget about my past..
To make me forget about them who hurt me..

But..

Now i stand up..
Have a new life..

I was love to laughed all time and never ever cry...
But now?

I'm thinking there's no love at all..
Ha~
Yes!! I'll stand up and there's no love in me..
If there's no love, there's wont be any pain in me..
If there's no pain in me, i'll stand up until the end of my life~

~~~~~~~~

Testing *me*

Hi everybody, this is hyemi..
I know i sounds like a Korean but no.. Oh my, i hope i was korean..
No no, i'm hyemi..

Hahaha~ Maybe you'll find that i'm laughing here..
But in the real life, oh no noo..
Believe it or not, there's nothing that i can laughed about..

Besides i don't believe at "true love"..
I don't believe at any "love" myself..
Cuz for me, there's no such thing as love..

~~~~~